The Shield: 5.11-Post Partum

Other than the show's ending, this season finale was so-so. It felt a wee bit dragged out during the first hour. But, yowza! Once the last half hour kicked in, The Shield was up to form. Lem is dead, blown to bits by one of his closet friends. Cant say I'm too surprised, Shane has always been the shadiest of the Strike Team and he now has a lot to lose what with another kid on the way, but dang, that was cold. I appreciated the writers making him feel remorse though. A lot of times these characters come off stony. Cavanaugh really crossed the line with Vic and I wish we could have seen them really go at it, not just roll around on the ground like a couple of girls. Honestly, it's a good thing neither of them have hair. That would have been messy. Overall, I felt this episode was a great way to end the season. Sorry to see Lem die, but I can see how they felt this was the only way to go. It's shocking but it also ties up a lot of loose ends. Cant wait 'til next season!

Other musings from TV Land...

Gilmore Girls reruns are always a good thing! Thanks WB! (New episodes are even better: tune in April 4th)

Since I'm not a big American Idol watcher, could somebody fill me in: Is Paula always drunk and/or high when she's on this show? I mean, I get that one might need a few drinks to listen to some of these people, but come on! Other Idol thoughts: that Kellie Pickler is a moron and for that I cant stand her. Send her home next! Also, Ace is very dreamy. Not sure if he's dreamy enough to become the next American Idol, but pretty darn dreamy nonetheless.

I love Scrubs. Love, love, love. It's easily the funniest show on TV (sorry Earl).

On second thought...

After re-watching the last episode of Veronica Mars ("Versatile Toppings") I have decided to change my grade from C to a solid B+. I was harsh and for that I am truly sorry. Despite the horrid acting from Kristin Cavallari, there were some high points in the episode that I was too blind to see upon first viewing:

As always: continuity! Carmen came back! The guy in the car with the nice rims trying to score an 8 ball from Weevil back in "Ahoy, Mateys!" was Kelly, the gay jock who faked his mugging! And, of course, Cho's Pizza from "Kanes and Able's"!

The jab at Rick Santorum (the homophobic Pennsylvania senator) was fantastic.

The appearances of Backup!, Corny, Mac and, of course, Dick.

V and Keith's interactions are always terrific

Lamb! and his middle finger=awesome

Of course, upon a second viewing, one also tends to find more flaws. Here are a few I picked up:

No VMVO's (Veronica Mars Voice Overs). Where did they go? I miss them as much as I miss the flashbacks! Come back, guys!!

No Wallace, Weevil or Beaver! I know they cant be in every episode but dang.

No mention of Mac and Beaver's relationship. They were so cozy at the carnival too.

Veronica's "You totally nailed me"... Just... no. I don't believe V would leave herself open like that.

So, again, not every episode of this fantastic show can be perfect and I accept that. If you were as disappointed as I was last week, give it another viewing. It's better than I initially thought (Cavallari still sucks though, so be warned!)

Fox's night of non-stop action: Prison Break and 24

Prison Break: 1.14- The Rat

Ahh, the Prettys are back. I missed these super fine cons. But it looks like we may be one less come next week. If the writers have the balls to actually kill off Lincoln, I will be very impressed. Especially after that whole faith montage at the end of this week's episode. The episode itself was sort of drawn out and pointless, but I can forgive just this once (must be my Wentworth Miller high talking).

24: 5.14- Day 5: 8:00 PM- 9:00 PM

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause. He gave us 24 and we should thank him everyday for this gift. Admittedly this week's episode hasn't been as emotionally hard hitting as the past couple weeks, but compared to most of the stuff out there, 24 is some stellar TV. Close to perfect even. Jack and what's left of CTU get back to business with Homeland Security all up in their kool-aid. It's hilarious that Mrs. Stuffypants from Homeland Security has no idea how Jack works. I would think his saving the world resume would be posted all over Washington. And Audrey is gonna get it for supplying the terrorists with the stuff they need for their next attack. I don't know how they are going to make her actions forgivable (I cant see her being the next Nina Myers. She's just not that smart), but I cant wait to see Jack torture her. Sick as it sounds, 24 without the torture would just not be as enjoyable to me.

TV in the news...

Last week had some great TV-related news that I feel I must share.

First up is South Park vs. Scientology. I hope it's a fight to the death and they both lose, but man, has this been a funny little feud. First Isaac Hayes leaves the show with a big ole tisk-tisk:

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins."

South Park co-creator Matt Stone isn't buying it:

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith in Scientology...He has no problem - and he's cashed plenty of checks - with our show making fun of Christians."

Then Comedy Central pulled the offending Scientology episode (available on YouTube here) on Wednesday in favor of some Chef-friendly episodes. Of course Stone and partner Trey Parker didn't take that lying down. Here's their OFFICIAL press release regarding the snubbing:

"Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!
-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu"

I almost peed my pants reading that! I will be keeping my eye on this and will keep you guys informed on the latest.

Next is this little gem: Osama bin Laden's Niece to Star in Reality TV Show . No kidding. Apparently the girl is an aspiring singer who has agreed to be followed around while seeking stardom.

"Her story will bridge the gap that people feel exists between the cultures she has lived in," ReganMedia President Judith Regan said.

"She is also a young woman who falls in love, has her heart broken, worries about her looks, doesn't always listen to her mother, and hasn't spoken to her father in years," Regan said.

She's also smokin' hot, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with it. I'm not sure if this one will get off the ground, it doesn't look like any network has been brave enough to pick it up yet, but it should be interesting to see what the general reaction of the American public will be. Personally, I don't mind the niece of the world's most notorious terrorist starring in her own reality show. I just wish it were about something half way interesting.

Finally, The Donald and his disgustingly hot wife have a bouncing baby heir, I mean, boy. Somehow, Melania managed to squeeze an 8 1/2 pound baby out of her tiny, stick-like body. I would pay to see her struggling with some baby weight. Then I would be almost convinced that she's not a Fem-Bot. Anyway, congratulations Trumps. May his milk always stay down, his clothes always stay clean and his nanny always well rested.

Other musings from TV Land: The Catch Up Edition...

Yay, The Shield never disappoints. Vic is a sneaky bald bastard. Sleeping with Cavanaugh's wife was a stroke of genius. I'm disappointed that Lem is going on the run. I thought that it would be kind of cool to see him go to jail with all the cons he put away... You know, for the whole five minutes he would have been alive. Fortunately for him, he's going to Mexico where he's free to do everything but drink the water. Unfortunately for us, Vic and the rest of the strike team are going to be under fire once again for this little stunt. I know it makes good TV but I miss the days when Vic and the boys were free to rough up street toughs without repercussions.

Deal or No Deal rocks my world like it's nobody's business. I'm so glad Howie found some decent work. It must be tough knowing the best thing you've done in over a decade is Bobby's World. Congrats Howie!

I gave ABC's In Justice and NBC's Conviction a try and both are decent courtroom dramas if you're not already sick of that sort of thing. Because I am sick of that sort of thing, I doubt I will be tuning in regularly, but if there's nothing else on...

I miss Desperate Housewives AGAIN! I think I may be out of the loop enough to officially stop watching the show without really feeling any remorse. Kinda sad that a show I LOVED last year hasn't been able to keep my attention during the second season. I doubt I'm the only one who feels like DH has jumped the shark.

Grey's Anatomy 2:22- Superstition

Not a bad episode this week. Predictable, but not bad. Seattle Grace served as Death's door as a bunch of patients meet their maker at the hands of our favorite doctors. Now, ever since he first appeared on the show I've had a thing for Denny the heart patient. He's a charming devil that one. Unfortunately, this week the spell was broken. His willingness to be snowed by Alex (who was beyond horrible to the guy this week) was just too much for me. It's my sincerest hope that he opens his eyes and sees who Alex really is: a jealous jerk. That goes double for Izzie who was still sleeping with him? Huh? I thought she saw who he really was the past few episodes. Maybe next week she will be able to overcome her sexual urges and see beyond Alex's pretty, pretty face.

George is adorable. Nothing new there. I'm also loving his possible love interest that isn't Meredith. Strong Latinas who aren't drug dealing hoes on TV make me happy.

The Meredith/McDreamy/Mrs. McDreamy love triangle is driving me bananas. Is it me or does it look like Mrs. McDreamy is trying way to hard to become friendly with the chick who slept with her husband? Is it also me or does it look like she may trying to get in Meredith's pants too? Just me? OK then.

My Name is Earl (1.18) and The Office (2.18)

Earl Hickey is the man and the reason this is a fact is because of Mr. Jason Lee. Think about it: would we otherwise be tuning in every week to see some random redneck making amends for the bad he's done? I don't think so. Jason Lee is perfect for this role. He's got the look and the accent down and he's got the comedic chops to pull it all off beautifully. This week we got another hilarious peek into Earl's childhood and it looks like he and Papa Hickey are slowly making some headway into a semi-normal relationship. And that's how you know it's fiction, ladies and gentleman.

Fun quote of the night:

Randy: You gonna do something for your mom, Catalina?
Catalina: My mother is dead.
Randy: I'm sorry.
Catalina: Oh, it's ok, it was either her or me.

It's was "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" (does this exist in real life? If so, I feel ripped off!) at Dunder Mifflin this week and the office pulled out all the stops: candy on the desks, sweet serenades, the whole shebang. We learned that Michael Scott has never had friends but is desperate for 100 kids so that he'll never be lonely again, a life-long dream apparently. How I would pay to see him managing such a brood! I smell spin off. Speaking of kids, Angela and Dwight would make some, ahem, interesting offspring and it looks like Roy may end up being decent dad material. It's a good thing too since Pam thinks encouraging kids to play with shredders is a grand idea.

Fun quote of the night:

Michael: The kids don't wanna hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandma read to you--
Little girl: What's a Nazi?
Michael: 'What's a Nazi?'?
Dwight: Nazi was a fascist movement from the 1930's--
Michael: No, no, no! Don't talk about Nazis in front of-- You know what? They're gonna have nightmares so why don't you just shut it?
Dwight: I was gonna teach the children how to make corn husk dolls...

Other musings from TV Land...

I have yet to sit through an entire episode of Black.White. The white people seriously embarrass me.

American Inventor is pretty good, but I do spot a shameless ratings ploy... Evan and Jaron, the guys who blessed us with the 2000 hit "Crazy for this Girl," have moved on to the next round with their glorified ashtray. Seriously, the guy with the car clothes had a better idea! I'll watch the show because it's good, not because of the moderately cute former pop stars thank you very much!

Everybody Hates Chris managed to get a laugh out of me last night, something I have been hoping for since the show premiered. Here's hoping they do it again because I really want to like this show!

And finally, thanks to those brilliant FX programming directors, I finally found out that Gigli really is as bad as everyone says! Thanks guys! Can I have the two hours of my life back now?

Veronica Mars: 2.14- Versatile Toppings

Well, every episode of a great TV show cant be perfect and Veronica Mars proved it last night. The words "predictable", "boring" and "WTF" come to mind.

I wish I was familiar with Kristin Cavallari before last night's episode because now every time I see her on another show (and if the TV Gods have any power, this will not happen) I will hiss and scratch at the screen, cursing the bimbo for ruining a perfectly good season of my favorite show with her elementary-school-play method of "acting". Honestly, whoever wanted this girl on VM should be dragged out into the street and pelted with rotten fruit. She was just terrible and I think her performance brought the whole episode down. That's especially sad since last night was a great opportunity for Lost viewers to try the show, since the Island of Crazy was a rerun. Very frustrating indeed.

Admittedly, Kristin is no the only one to blame for Versatile Topping's failure. The writing was just not up to par. IMDb lists John Serge as the culprit, I mean, writer. Yo, John! It's a mystery show. I shouldn't be able to figure out who did the blackmailing in the first act. That's just not how this show works. You should think about watching a couple of episodes...

The episode wasn't a total wash. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I love what's going on with Hannah and Logan. I'm convinced that he is doing everything he can to get close to her so he can use her proximity to Dr. Griffith to his advantage. As long as I can convince myself that Logan has no feelings for her, I'm good. Another high point was Jackie. I love her. I'm sorry, but I do. She brings the witchy snark like it's nobody's business and, with Logan acting like prince charming, the show needs it.

As for the big bus crash reveal that was promised on the promos: meh. Terrence Cook didn't do it and neither did Woody Goodman! It's too obvious. This show is smarter than that! Snap out of it, fans. Do you really think they would reveal the killer this soon in the season? Not a chance.

Other musings from TV Land...

The Loop premiered last night and I'm stunned. This is the kind of programming they canceled Arrested Development in favor of? Really?!? Fox execs need lobotomies, for real.

I'm semi-following American Idol and I was very surprised that Ace was in the bottom three this week. Just based on his hotness alone, Ace should be on Idol until the end. I mean, what's musical ability compared to flowing locks of chestnut hair and a million dollar smile? Jeez, what are the voters thinking?!

Good riddance Invasion. You're terrible writing, acting and storyline had you sunk from day one and I'm glad people have finally opened their eyes and realized it. Go back to Jupiter or the abyss or wherever.

"The best thing about two days in jail? Two days' worth of Ellen on the TiVo. That's sweet viewing." -Logan, Veronica Mars (episode 2.06 Rat Saw God)

OK, so I wasn't in jail for the past couple weeks, I was on vacation. It was lovely. The downside was I missed some updates, the upside is most of my shows are on hiatus, so I didn't miss too much TV.

On Wednesday, March 1 we were treated to One Tree Hill and Lost.

On One Tree Hill, a school shooting, perpetrated by that random Jimmy kid, rocked the school and resulted in two deaths. I was sure Peyton was a goner, but lo and behold it was Keith who got the axe. Or, rather, bullet to the head. That Dan is a cold, cold bastard. Jimmy's dead too, but since no one cared about him before, no one should care now, I guess, myself included. Yes, the message of acknowledging loners was lost on me. Luckily I've been out of high school for a while now so this should have little impact on the student body here in Jacksonville, FL.

Lost was actually pretty good, given the slowness of this season (that goes for OTH too, which has just barely held my interest this year, but I digress...). Claire remembers via flashback the weirdness that happened to her during her stay with The Others. We also learned that for one reason or another The Others are pretending to be grubby rednecks (ala K-Fed) using stage makeup and false beards, which is excellent. I still have no idea what is going on and to be perfectly honest, I doubt I ever will, but as long as they continue to supply some answers, I'll continue to watch. Oh, and Baby Aaron will totally be the death of them all. I'm just saying.

On another Lost note, I read that Darren Aronofsky may not be directing an episode this season after all. That's almost as depressing as Requiem for a Dream.

Thursday the 2nd brought us My Name is Earl and The Office, both of which were great, but that's no big surprise. New episodes of both shows will air this week so let the jumping for joy commence.

While I was away, I managed to catch a couple of my favorite shows (come on, I cant go cold turkey! I needed a fix!!). The two-hour 24 event last week was just amazing. I don't know why I think this show in incapable of surprising me but they always, always prove me wrong. Edgar and most of CTU are dead! I nearly cried when Edgar took his last gurgling breath. You will be missed Mr. Stiles. You will be missed. The most recent episode, which aired Monday, was also heart wrenching. Tony died, the Hobbit died, the poor security guard died. They totally milked that guy's death and I'll admit, I was manipulated. I got teary. Tony's death caused me to shriek in alarm. Not Tony!! My God, why Tony!!! I just.... No...

Moving on, The Shield last week was also great. It really wasn't a plot moving episode, but I enjoyed Vic's schemeing to get Lem out of jail and Dutch's shameless attempts at getting into the pants of Little Miss Wanna-Be Cop. Seriously, she must have thought she was going to stripper school and stumbled into the police academy next door instead. I missed last night's new episode, but it's FX so I have about 20 more chances to catch it this week.

Speaking of missed episodes, Desperate Housewives was another one that I missed. I read the recaplet over on TWoP and it looks like a good one too. I see bit torrents in my future. I did manage to see Grey's Anatomy though and wow, great stuff. I love George and Dr. Burke. They are the best couple ever. Christina should stop standing in their way and move out so they can be together. I want to strangle Meredith. She's a total home wrecker. Izzie and heart transplant guy are another good match. Alex should hook back up with that nurse. Izzie is out of his league anyway. Oh, and Teddy Dunn (Duncan Kane!) was a patient! Yay!

I will leave you with a final reminder: new episodes of Veronica Mars begin tonight. I'm peeing my pants in anticipation!

TV in the news...

AOL launches In2TV

In2TV is the first broadband TV network and it's got the largest collection of free TV shows anywhere on the web. Not just highlights or listings, but full-length TV episodes with a range of choices and loads of interactive features. Online. Anytime. Always free. Here's how it works. AOL and Warner Bros. have teamed up to bring you literally hundreds of episodes of TV shows online. Dramas, comedies, thrillers, even animated series. Shows and stars you grew to know and love. Shows like 'Welcome Back, Kotter,' 'Growing Pains,' 'Wonder Woman,' 'La Femme Nikita,' 'Alice,' 'Kung Fu,' 'Babylon 5' and more. And, we will be adding more shows and video clips in the near future, including more recent programs and other TV related content that you can't find anywhere else on the web.

Check it out here: http://television.aol.com/in2tv

Gilmore Girls: 6.16- Bridesmaids Revisited

Ah, the highs and lows of those crazy, speed-talking Gilmore Girls. How I love their witty banter! This week, Rory gets a shock when she discovers Logan got some action during their two month split. Not sure why she's all that shocked. Has she even seen Logan? The guy is "liek whoa" hot and is rich enough to buy Tiffany's. I'm surprised girls aren't throwing their panties at him as he crosses the street! But, alas, Rory was convinced they were just "on a break" and his "betrayal" looks like it's too big for her to handle. Gee, this sounds familiar... If she writes a 18 page note (front and back!) about the ups and downs of their relationship, I may have to consider that maybe this *possibly* being the last season of GG is a good thing.

Lane and Zach are getting married and the band is getting back together. This is a story line I can get behind! I'm not a huge Zach fan, I find him a bit skeezy and not in a good way, but I love Lane and cant wait to see how Mama Kim reacts to this news. And I would KILL for a GG spin-off that has Hep Alien touring the country, singing covers and hunting evil spirits... Wait a minute....

OK, am I the only one who is uncomfortable with Lorelai hanging out with Christopher excessively? I mean, didn't she do the same thing last season and the results were less than great? She and Luke need to patch things up and pronto! I cant take another week of Lorelai being freaked out about his kid. Pull of the band-aid, deal with your issues and make up already! I've invested too much time in this show not to see these two live happily ever after.

Speaking of Christopher: Dude, send GiGi to boot camp now! I'll call Maury for you and he'll make the arrangements. But, really, that kid needs help... and a spanking... or twelve.

Drunk Doyle is hilarious, by the way! Way more tolerable that Drunk Logan (seriously pal, AA meetings. Look into 'em). Loved, loved, loved Doyle kissing and nuzzling Rory's neck (even though I sort of saw something like that coming the second he approached her in the bar)! I was a wee bit concerned that Paris would try nuzzling Rory's neck during their reconciliation, but alas, no lesbian action this episode. Sorry boys.

Over all, a decent episode, memorable thanks to Lane and Zach reuniting.

GRADE: B+

A bit about myself, I suppose.

My name is Kellie and I have a problem:

I have... feelings... for my television.

Feelings that can only be described as... Love.

Yes, that's right, I love my TV. Or, perhaps to be more accurate, I love what is on my TV (and I don't mean the VCR, DVD player and random DVD's thereupon). Now, sure, the relationship is a little complicated. Sometimes my TV spoon feeds me the same boring, monotonous crap that I've heard a million times. Sometimes it can cant come up with something original to save it's sorry life.

But, then there are the times when life with my TV is sweet. There are times when I sit mouth agape at the genius that emits from this machine. Sometimes it makes me laugh and cry and squeal with delight all in one hour. And most of the time, I'm left craving more! Sometimes it gives me something beautiful and it's because of these sweet times that I think my relationship with my TV is worth all the bull. I can take all the crappy, overly-scripted, ridiculously fake reality shows my TV can throw at me for just an hour of the bliss that is Veronica Mars or Gilmore Girls or 24. The fact that my television blesses me with one or two of these shining moments of joy, not every now and then, but once a week makes me love it all the more, regardless of it's short comings.

Expect the love affair between me and my television to continue as I share with you, dear reader, the good times and the bad we have together.